Friday, January 29, 2010


I don't know how to deal with them. The new emotional outbursts that Chandler has when he gets frustrated and decides to just cry and cry.

As Father, you want to fix the problem. No matter the issue, when I get down on Chandler's level and try to talk to him about whatever the issue is - he now refuses to talk about it, instead he decides to continue crying and letting out all of this raw emotion. It's taking a toll.

It's hard to go in public with such unpredictable behavior. When these things happen at the mall or at a restaurant, other people don't understand, and they assume that my wife and I are just bad parents.

Honestly, I have stopped caring what other people think. I figure if we all live in Chandler's world, instead of him living in ours - those people can take a hike.

What I do know is Chandler's feelings - justifiable or not - are real. His emotion is real, and I need to find a way to both cope and help him better. So far, I'm failing at both.

Cory Howerton

1 comment:

  1. It's so heartbreaking to want to fix things and make them all better and not know what the magic answer is. I think you have a really good perspective on it, except possibly for feeling like he is "deciding" to cry and not talk rather than that his system has become completely overwhelmed.

    A really good book on the topic is The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene. He explains how emotions take over and what you can do before, during and after a meltdown to help the situation. (And they can't really take in any verbal information when they're so upset.)

    You are a great dad, and Chandler is lucky to have someone who cares so much and wants to help him with everything he is facing.