Understanding Where This Came From

I speak to groups about a variety of topics.

Sometimes I am asked to speak about sports marketing, the team I work for, our upcoming season or just our industry. Sometimes I speak about autism awareness.

I prefer to speak about autism.

When I was in fifth grade, I started a variety of testing. I remember going to hospital after hospital, therapist after therapist.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia, then ADD, and a few other things that I can't remember. Since I don't see words backwards, I was pretty sure that I wasn't dyslexic. ADD? yhea, I have that. What was I talking about again? Just kidding.

As I have mentioned in previous posts, my boys are a lot like me when I was a child. Everything they do reminds me of me.

Where did this come from? Why are my boys on the spectrum? Turns out, it was a diagnosis that I was never told about. I am on the spectrum. Now, everything makes sense.

I see things in pictures - to me, that's normal. Don't you see things like that? No - you don't.

I remember obscure dates and places. I see them in pictures clearly as if they happened yesterday.

I remember having a conversation with my father in his bedroom when I was only 3. I remember a conversation with my mom in our living room when I was 5. Clearly - word for word, and I can see it.

I am obsessed with my profession. Being in professional sports is hard on a family, so a few years ago, I got out. That lasted about six months. I was obsessed with getting back into sports - couldn't stop thinking about it, and did everything I could to get a job.

I work day and night. I live, eat and breathe my job. I am obsessed with sports marketing, and have been since I was.........seven.

I am blessed that I can remember these events in my life. I am blessed with a memory that can recall stats at the drop of a hat. It is also a bit of a curse.

There is so much more.

When you think about the weekend, I see "tall buildings," I don't know why, but this became real for me when Chandler told me that he sees tall buildings when we talk about weekends.

When we watched Temple Grandin together, during the scenes when she "sees" things, Chandler explains to me that he sees the world that way. I didn't say anything, but so do I.

So Chan and Spencer, you are not alone. I made it through this, and so will you.

I have made the decision to seek therapy for the little things that I do which are caused by the disorder - I am obsessive compulsive about a number of things, and that needs some help. There are a few others too, and with this new information I will have the opportunity to correct some of my.......quirks.

This new information will not change who I am. I am a father of who has wonderful sons and daughters. I am a husband who loves his wife (another obsession -- don't think that has anything to do with autism). I am a person who cares deeply about autism awarness, and making sure that not only my children - but all children have an opportunity to have success in life away from home.

Chan and Spencer were given to me for a number of reasons. A diagnosis of my own is only one of them.

I thank them every day for the gifts they give me. I can't wait until we are reunited in Ohio.

Cory Howerton

The way I see it...

My wife reminded me of something today.

I see things differently than other people. I am addicted to my work - no obsessed with it. I have spent my entire adult life perfecting my craft and not letting anything get in the way. Well almost anything.

I have a temper that frustrates me, and get enraged when people don't understand what I am trying to articulate. I got so angry a year ago, I went to great lengths to get my contract voided with my former employer - I hated them that much, I irrationally put my career on the line to leave in the middle of the season.

I have a hard time concentrating on a specific task that is not related to work (and even at work, my A.D.D. kicks in and my focus shifts).

My mother used to say "I hope you have a son just like you."

Turns out - I have two.

And that makes me wonder....Am I on the spectrum too? Could it be because of me that my two boys struggle in school, are obsessed with specific tasks and get angry easily? Is it because of me that they make irrational decisions and do things that at the time make sense to them, but in the end make no sense at all?

After talking about it, my wife and I decided that I would see a doctor and be tested. Maybe through this discovery, I will be a better husband and father, a better more engaged manager and employee and be able to help and understand my two boys better.

When my boys do things that people would label as strange, I think "I remember doing that." So it's possible I am taking this journey with them. That I understand more than I thought I did and that they have a little more in common with Dad than they had hoped.

What a journey this is. Just when I think I have learned something that will help them, it helps me. This will help us unlock some answers, and truly know if Autism is genetic, rather than a problem with immunizations.

I promise to write the story about Spencer and his unique way of discovering things, and I promise to be more consistent with my posts. I look forward to updating you with the doctors findings.

Cory Howerton
Father of two amazing boys on the autism spectrum