My wife reminded me of something today.
I see things differently than other people. I am addicted to my work - no obsessed with it. I have spent my entire adult life perfecting my craft and not letting anything get in the way. Well almost anything.
I have a temper that frustrates me, and get enraged when people don't understand what I am trying to articulate. I got so angry a year ago, I went to great lengths to get my contract voided with my former employer - I hated them that much, I irrationally put my career on the line to leave in the middle of the season.
I have a hard time concentrating on a specific task that is not related to work (and even at work, my A.D.D. kicks in and my focus shifts).
My mother used to say "I hope you have a son just like you."
Turns out - I have two.
And that makes me wonder....Am I on the spectrum too? Could it be because of me that my two boys struggle in school, are obsessed with specific tasks and get angry easily? Is it because of me that they make irrational decisions and do things that at the time make sense to them, but in the end make no sense at all?
After talking about it, my wife and I decided that I would see a doctor and be tested. Maybe through this discovery, I will be a better husband and father, a better more engaged manager and employee and be able to help and understand my two boys better.
When my boys do things that people would label as strange, I think "I remember doing that." So it's possible I am taking this journey with them. That I understand more than I thought I did and that they have a little more in common with Dad than they had hoped.
What a journey this is. Just when I think I have learned something that will help them, it helps me. This will help us unlock some answers, and truly know if Autism is genetic, rather than a problem with immunizations.
I promise to write the story about Spencer and his unique way of discovering things, and I promise to be more consistent with my posts. I look forward to updating you with the doctors findings.
Cory Howerton
Father of two amazing boys on the autism spectrum
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Transitions
We're moving.
Change is not good.
As we prepare to take our boys out of their schools and a place where they get fantastic services, I think a lot about how this is going to affect them short term.
About ten months ago, I left a job I hated to start my own company, and recently on a referral from one of my clients, I was offered an opportunity to pursue a dream - so I took it.
We are moving to a real city, with larger buildings, and things to do. A city with major league teams and summer activities that are not centered around corn.
I firmly believe that the boys are going to love the move, once we get there and get settled. I know that when they start school again next year, while it will be different, they will do fine. Making friends is always hard, but doing so when you are autistic is going to be a challenge - but as with everything else we do, we will get through it.
These boys are hard. Being a parent of one autistic son is difficult enough, but two is un-real.
FIRST DAYS
When I speak to groups of autistic parents, especially those who have just found out that their child is on the autism spectrum, we talk about the "first day."
Your life changes when you get the diagnosis. In essence, it starts over. The first day is the hardest, and while it seems like it doesn't get any easier, it will. At least in most cases.
I meet people all the time that are having a difficult time with their autistic child. Sometimes the behavior is so out of control that parents need help from doctors, local agencies or other resources that are available - including medication.
Remember that you are their voice - you are their advocate - you are the person that loves them. Fight for them, and when you are tired - fight some more. Call the doctors a hundred times, and never give up. They are counting on you and if they will ever have a chance to be independent as an adult, you must fight for them now.
They analyze everything in a different way. We will never fully understand the challenges they face each day. But we must be strong, even in difficult times, and it will be difficult.
Some people will shun you. You might lose some friends. Nothing changes the fact that you are a great parent, with an amazing gift of a child. Never lose sight of that.
NEXT: Interesting interpretations of a young autistic child.
Change is not good.
As we prepare to take our boys out of their schools and a place where they get fantastic services, I think a lot about how this is going to affect them short term.
About ten months ago, I left a job I hated to start my own company, and recently on a referral from one of my clients, I was offered an opportunity to pursue a dream - so I took it.
We are moving to a real city, with larger buildings, and things to do. A city with major league teams and summer activities that are not centered around corn.
I firmly believe that the boys are going to love the move, once we get there and get settled. I know that when they start school again next year, while it will be different, they will do fine. Making friends is always hard, but doing so when you are autistic is going to be a challenge - but as with everything else we do, we will get through it.
These boys are hard. Being a parent of one autistic son is difficult enough, but two is un-real.
FIRST DAYS
When I speak to groups of autistic parents, especially those who have just found out that their child is on the autism spectrum, we talk about the "first day."
Your life changes when you get the diagnosis. In essence, it starts over. The first day is the hardest, and while it seems like it doesn't get any easier, it will. At least in most cases.
I meet people all the time that are having a difficult time with their autistic child. Sometimes the behavior is so out of control that parents need help from doctors, local agencies or other resources that are available - including medication.
Remember that you are their voice - you are their advocate - you are the person that loves them. Fight for them, and when you are tired - fight some more. Call the doctors a hundred times, and never give up. They are counting on you and if they will ever have a chance to be independent as an adult, you must fight for them now.
They analyze everything in a different way. We will never fully understand the challenges they face each day. But we must be strong, even in difficult times, and it will be difficult.
Some people will shun you. You might lose some friends. Nothing changes the fact that you are a great parent, with an amazing gift of a child. Never lose sight of that.
NEXT: Interesting interpretations of a young autistic child.
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